Garrison Keillor's a Bigot. Now You Know.

I've never read any Garrison Keilor, but after this tripe, I must say I'm not interested. I've heard much acclaim about that Lake Wobegon Days stuff, but as they say, Garrison, goodbye, because We Don't Neeeeed You.

Garrison takes his folksy reminiscences and ends up frothing bigotry in this article, called (excruciatingly) "Stating the obvious." You can read it yourself (click through the 8 second ad to get a Day Pass), or enjoy some selections:

Back in the day, that was the standard arrangement. Everyone had a yard, a garage, a female mom, a male dad, and a refrigerator with leftover boiled potatoes in plastic dishes with snap-on lids. This was before caller ID, before credit cards, before pizza, for crying out loud.

[...]

Nature is about continuation of the species -- in other words, children. Nature does not care about the emotional well-being of older people.

[...]

The country has come to accept stereotypical gay men -- sardonic fellows with fussy hair who live in over-decorated apartments with a striped sofa and a small weird dog and who worship campy performers and go in for flamboyance now and then themselves. If they want to be accepted as couples and daddies, however, the flamboyance may have to be brought under control. Parents are supposed to stand in back and not wear chartreuse pants and black polka-dot shirts. That's for the kids. It's their show.

I think his overall point is that "mixed-gender" parents do a better job of letting children be the center of attention, but gay parents (and those who keep their last names or get divorced) somehow are stealing the attention from their children.

Right. "Everyone had a yard." Everyone, huh?