Wednesday, February 25, 2009

It's All About Manliness

At my favorite place to laugh at, The Haunted Clown Toilet of Angry Sad, Joseph Lindsey reminds us that the heart of wingnut dreams comes down to making sure that men are manly enough.

Greenwald discussed this point in his last book, Great American Hypocrites.

It's hard to pick a few pithy words from his article, so here's most of it:
I long for the days when being a man had to do with things like, my words is good, insult my wife and you get a busted nose, and my silence says more than any nonsense I could ever scream at you. But this is not the image of the masculine male Tinseltown now propagates.

The other day while surfing channels like a Troglodyte on speed waiting for the meat on the grill to ooze a little blood, I came across a show I’m convinced will be the downfall of the American male.

The show’s called “Bromance.” That’s right, “Bromance,” and it’s not on the LOGO channel. It’s on the channel where many first time voters get information on who to vote for and where to get a complimentary t-shirt emblazoned with the image of a hip, slick, cigarette smoking candidate. That’s right, MTV. Now you may be wondering just what a “Bromance” is. Here’s the explanation from the website.

There’s friendship, there’s romance, and then there’s Bromance. What is Bromance? In most cases, it’s a bond between boys that is both manly and intimate. In this case, though, it’s a chance to buddy up with a privileged heartthrob from The Hills, Brody Jenner.

I made it through twenty-minutes and was able to observe the aforementioned Brody Jenner seated in a poolside lounge chair surrounded by candles having a “MAN-DATE” with one of the nine so-called men, hoping to become his new best friend. The candidate vying for Brody’s “heterosexual affections” shed tears while exposing his flaws and all the pressure on him. It ended with a candle-lit man-hug.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my buddies but I don’t want to date them. Good long episodes of crying should be reserved for private time in the bathroom with the shower running.

Brody Jenner is the type of man young women are being told is the ideal: soft, sensitive, vulnerable, not able to take a punch or be there when life gets tough. This isn’t to say women need men or can’t take care of themselves - hell, I need my wife and like it that way. But in the roles between men and women, I believe a woman wants to be with a man whose word is good and can be counted on when life takes a dump in their world.

I don’t think women want men who come home crying after a long days work and say, “Hold me, I feel so vulnerable, my boss was mean today.” But this is what shows like “Bromance” are doing to men while at the same time altering how young women see them.

Oh, and if you’re wondering who Brody Jenner was spawn from, Google “Decathlon winner 1976 summer Olympics,” and there you’ll find a man in full, a testosterone fueled super athlete who’s morphed himself from into Hollywood’s male ideal with the help of a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and Dr. Phil — who also can’t take a punch.

I’m not advocating misogyny or random acts of violence to express masculinity. I leave that to the lyrics of hip-hop. I’m all for peace, love and understating. I’m just not willing to give up my balls, break my word or shout at some dude, “You hurt my feelings.”
Lord knows I'm not a fan of Bromance, but not because I'm afraid it will make me "give up my balls."

What a strange worldview. Some highlights:

  • Being a man means being violent

  • He would expect weakness to be present in gay communities

  • It's Obama's fault that MTV sold shirts with pictures of him smoking

  • Brody Jenner won't keep his word

  • HE hopes women prefer his own image of a fantasy male

  • Men should hide their feelings

  • "Bromance" makes men come home crying about their boss being mean

  • You'd think Brody would be better, since his dad was at one point a "testosterone fueled super athlete"

  • Hip hop is all about violence and misogyny

  • Watching a TV show will make me "give up my balls"

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